@beefman138
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@katy_baybay
I will be answering all questions with both middle fingers this morning.
@Divergentmama
You can check out anytime you like
You can never leave
Please bring me my wine2020 is officially Hotel California
@TheBlessMess
My roadside emergency kit is a black wig, a disco ball and a bottle of vodka. Might as well have fun while I wait to be murdered.
@Treememories
Why do the models on the catwalks always look so angry? I would have been very happy to get paid to just walk around in fancy clothes.
@SocialustGal13
My doctor told me to start killing people. Not in those exact words but he said I needed to reduce my stress. Same thing.
@TheTweetOfGod
The Walking Dead is Jesus’s favorite show.
@TwinSurvivalist
When will all of this hoarding stop? I nearly broke down today when I couldn’t find any beluga caviar, Wagyu beef, or gold shavings for my fresh ice cream.
@iwearaonesie
my wife’s friend is so pissed i made fun of his lazy eye he’s having a hard time even looking at me
@LoveNLunchmeat
Of course you have no regrets. Regrets are for people smart enough to know they could have done better.