I’m not saying the character Merida was modeled after me,
but I too would rather win an archery contest than be married.
ME: *coughing* I’m sorry my voice is a little hoarse.
CHESS PLAYER: did.. did you just swallow my knight?
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Probably karma that Will Smith made a song about parents not understanding and then had a son who literally no one understands.
Me: That’ll teach me
Also me: No it won’t
The best part of being a bear would be waking up from hibernation and immediately killing something
Me: big day today
Brain: we’re ready
Brain: not like last time
Brain: when you wrote ‘gren’ on the colors test
Me: I was 5
Brain: don’t blow it today
plumber: i’ve come to do the pipes
salazar slytherin: make sure they’re big enough for a giant snake
salazar slytherin: no reason
DATE: I want someone that’s mysterious & really into nature
Put all the money in the bag and no one-
*sees guy wearing a Maroon 5 shirt*
MOST people won’t get hurt!!
Don’t think of me as 40. Think of me as two 20 yr olds.
I know two wrongs don’t make a right, obviously. But how many does it take? I’m like on 756.