@PoshTick

me: *down on one knee*

her: omg omg omg it’s finally happening

me: *tightens my velcro straps* what

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@thepaulahunt

My sister: You’re either going to die because you sassed the wrong person or petted a dog you shouldn’t have.

Me: Either way, I’m getting bitten in the face.

@GABBYdaAngSaya

Me: I think we need to break up
Her: Now is not a good time
Me: Okay
*we ride the rollercoaster in silence*

@jonnysun

in other news: 8 hours from now, half the country will be screaming about tragedy and loss b/c some dudes didnt catch a ball enough times

@Nocturnoc**to

If you steal my tweets I’ll just unfollow you cuz your tweets are terrible.

@delusions_of

[Julius Caesar being murdered]

“Just please don’t name a salad after me.”

@pilau

Scarface: SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FREN

me: hi

Danny Devito: well hello there

@WakeVII

I hate it when I’m trying to take a selfie and somebody calls my camera.

@TheAndrewNadeau

KID: Mr. Owl, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

ENDANGERED NORTHERN SPOTTED OWL: You cannot possibly think this is a priority for me.

@petridishes

my birthday is tomorrow on the Ides and I’m excited to celebrate by doing what Julius Caesar SHOULD have done: staying home and avoiding my friends

@TheCleftonTwain

WHAT ARE WE?

Writers!

WHAT ARE WE WRITING?

Snacks!

WAIT, WHAT?

Snacks first, THEN writing!

No, wait, coffee/tea too!

Maybe a nap beforehand!

THEN WRITING?

No, then Twitter

THEN WRITING!

Too late! Time for bed! Writing tomorrow

#amwriting
#writerslife
#writingcommunity