“Now that i’ve completed my teleportation device, the world and its wonders are mine to behold”
*Teleports to the nearest taco bell*
Me ending every email:
You Might Also Like
colonel mustard’s first name is dijonathan
Donald Trump is probably the closest we’ll ever get to electing Eric Cartman president.
HER: I don’t know what you’d do without me.
HER: Please stop imagining all those things.
me: I’m going to kill the moon
dude: the moon is flat
me: I’m going to kill the moon and flat-mooners
If you feel the need to throw American cheese at something, aim for the trash.
Curious that it’s always a female computer voice that calmly announces self-destruct sequences and other violent disasters.
I call in sick on full moons just to make them wonder.
Sorry about all the Mario references. I didn’t mean to one-up you. I’ll pipe down.