me: hey man you ready to go?

goku: hold on I gotta charge my phone



me: almost done?


me: son of a-

[On the next episode of…]

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I’m under the weather today, also so is everyone else, that’s how weather works.


If the opposite of impossible is Possible & the opposite of immature is Mature, you can conclude that i’m a very Portant person to some.


me: if u drink this coffee ur gonna get jittery and anxious and ur gonna feel sick later
my brain: good bean juice taste like chocolate make me think fast


Alice: I’m late.

White Rabbit: Haha, that’s my line


White Rabbit:

Alice: *stares*

White Rabbit: oh shit


People who have ‘taken’ in their bio, sit tight, Liam Neeson will around to collect you shortly


[taco bell 2am]

*lethally stoned*

me: “nine cheesy crunchy chupacabras”


I was having a drink of coffee and didn’t see the pothole in the road, so that’s on me.