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@Donna_McCoy: Me: *hits snooze on alarm
Life: *sets off smoke detector
@AmishPornStar1: According to all these BMI charts...
I DEFINITELY need to get taller next year.
@Jakexox: First woman on Moon:
-Huston, we have a problem?
What's the problem?
Please tell us?
-You know what's the problem
@AimeeHelene1: The best call ever would be "Hey, it's me!", but from your dog...
1. Aww your dog's calling you
2. Holy shit your dog can talk!!
@clarkekant: Ask your doctor if an unnecessary over-prescribed medication so he can get kickbacks from a pharmaceutical company is right for you.
@murrman5: me: hips like a canadian goose
girl in club: is that good?