@ThugRaccoons

Me: How could you do this?

Her: I just felt like you needed to know

Me: I’ve completely lost trust

Her: I know this is hard

Me: But wrestling? Fake? I’m devastated.

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@NutellaV

I fold my laundry just like everyone else. About 3 weeks after the dryer buzzes.

@rcromwell4

Follow me on Pinterest for seasonal craft ideas and spells for summoning ancient demons.

@Mirimade

If I’ve already used “For sure”, “Right?”, “No kidding” and “Seriously”, your story has gone on too long. I am out of responses.

@bridger_w

I want my friends and family at my funeral, but more than that, I want a mysterious stranger watching from behind a tree

@edgarrants

Bad idea? Son, I got married in my 20s. Ideas don’t get any worse than that.

@kivtur

Producer *At a stuntman’s funeral*: He died for our scenes.