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@TySmithdrums: Me: "I can't find your phone."
Her: "Call it."
Me: "Here, phone!"
Her: "I hate you."
@SuperRandomish: If you walk up to me with a plate of food and say "Matt?"
My name will always be Matt.
@Poutymcgee: *brings all the jars I can't open along with me on our first date
@novicefather: My neighbor and I are really close. We call each other things like bro, man, dude, boss...
We don't know each other's name.
@HeyZeus666: I lost a very dear friend and drinking buddy in a tragic accident this weekend. He got his finger caught in a wedding band.