@FU_TangClan

Me: my wife says I never pay attention

Wife: I said alimony, but add attention to the list

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@dril

Leaving the group chat so I can focus on my responsibilities as a Shark Tank subbreddit moderator .

@AIanHangover

True love doesn’t care about the look or size of your wallet, it’s all about what is inside ….. the wallet.

@PoonWhisperer1

This woman just stared at the beer in my cup holder, like she’s never seen a cup holder on a grocery cart before.

@WotDLuck

Behind every successful woman is a Man who let her down.

@Iam_Nathaniel

Girlfriend catches boyfriend cheating
Boyfriend: WOOOW!!! So you gon believe your eyes over me?

@Lisabug74

[at roller rink]

My fanny pack is filled with marbles in case I need to create a diversion.

@rose24_em

If a guy spread rose petals all over my apartment, I would literally look at him and just be like:
“I’m not picking this up.”