dates 1-4: let me tell u about my extremely normal hobbies and interests
date 5: i don’t think the moon is real
Me: What do you give the girl that has everything
My Mom: Penicillin
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[having house guests]
Me: omg I need to CLEANNN
[30 minutes later]
Me: you know what if they don’t accept my house then they don’t accept ME
If I had to guess where everything went wrong, I’d have to say it was the day I learned “elemenopee” wasn’t one awesome letter.
*Cop Dog radios in*
We’ve got an armed robbery in progress
“What’s that boy?”
An armed robbery on 5th
“Timmy’s stuck in a well??”
They take Opposite Day seriously here at El Sol. I love sushi/getting paid to eat, but the dead mariachi band is something of a mood-killer.
It’s cute how they show subtitles during Here Comes Honey Boo Boo & pretend that anyone watching might actually know how to read.
the only reason i’m gonna go to my 10 year high school reunion is to see if the kid that wore shorts year round is wearing shorts
My Christmas shopping will be financed by my swear jar again this year.
Nothing says disinterest more than The Flash being late for a Justice League meeting