Steps for reading articles:
1. Accept cookies
2. Block notifications
3. Deny location to website
4. Decline invitation to subscribe
5. Stop auto-playing video ads/mute sound
6. Dismiss reminder of free articles remaining
7. Shrink drop down banner
8. Click “read more”
9. Give up
[me when I see a dog walking alone without a leash] exactly who is representing you my lad
You Might Also Like
Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but it’s not necessary to show it off.
Congratulations, everyone who saw me and my kids at the mall today. That’s the cheapest birth control you will ever have.
When you go to buy fire insurance for your house, don’t tell them you need it by a certain date.
ME: it’s a dream come true i never thought my team would sweep the world series
OTHER STADIUM JANITOR: sooner you pick up the broom the sooner we go home
A chain lock on a door is just there to annoy the person who is breaking in to kill you, right?
[first day as life guard]
guy in water: help! help!! i don’t know how to swim!
me: *moving my arms* like this but in water
I just stabbed my salad 23 times with my fork & now it’s a Caesar Salad.
“We’re up all night to get Loki” -Daft Punk feat. The Avengers