…it’s on the house 😉
Me: Yeah, I’ve been having sex with robots a lot lately to ingratiate myself with them for the inevitable uprising.
Me: Anyway you were saying you bought a high-tech baby monitor you really like.
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One more missile failure and the Acme Corp. is going to lose that North Korea contract.
Moms, teach your sons to mind their manners, cook a decent meal & look for inner beauty.nnDads, teach your daughters how to throw a punch.
Don’t know whether to be disturbed or enchanted that the word sesquipedalian is onomatopoetic
In America, someone is shot every 15 seconds. How is that person still alive?
Taken 3 ~ It All Ends Here
Taken 4 ~ Listen, We’re Just As Surprised As You Are
Taken 5 ~ Whaaaaat!? Yep…
Batman: Why so down?
Aquaman: People think I’m not a real superhero. I’m tired of being walked all over.
[Blazing hot day]
Don’t forget to take a jacket, it might get cold.
~ My mom.
alien: TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER
me: [watching state of the union]
alien: oh crap
The best revenge is living well, so I really need to know what the second best revenge is.