Remember when all bombs looked like a black bowling ball with a giant wick in the top? Yep, simpler times.
Me: You think you’re soooo cool, wearing shades indoors
You Might Also Like
Crucifixion art is so depressing. Every time I look at Jesus, I can’t help thinking…I’ll never have abs like that.
-Come on, it’s time to go
-We are going to be late
-I hate school
-But Mum, you have to take me!
mermaids swim by twerking do you ever just think about that
Jesus: Time for a miracle!
Puritan: Anyone who goes in water and floats is a witch
Jesus: who likes fish
Sorry for releasing thousands of shrieking bats at your wedding. Sometimes I don’t know what to do with my hands.
I hate when I go to Subway and they barely put any toppings on.
When I take a bite, I want it to look like I went head to head with a garden, and won.
DOCTOR: congratulations, it’s a boy! *holds up baby tricycle*
BICYCLE DAD: what the hell?
BICYCLE MOM: *crying*
physically I’m in this realm but spiritually I’m running through halls in a silk robe wondering where to hide my rich dead husband
* Pogoing Outside Your Window
~ Are… You… Sure… You… Don’t… Want…. A… Second… Date?