@daddydoubts

Me: you want french toast for breakfast?

Toddler: yes.

Me: manners?

Toddler: no thank you.

You Might Also Like

@Marlebean

I failed at chemistry in high school…

And finally started dating in college.

@yonewt

*trying to do a quick errand*

Person In Front Of Me: I have so many questions about stamps

@JannaKillHimNik

4 *looking through album*: mama you’re so big!

Me: I’m pregnant with you in my belly

4: poor mama, you look like Augustus Gloop

Me: I regret reading to you

@EugeneMirman

I bet Melania Trump really regrets buying a speech off Craigslist now.

@ewfeez

“We’ve traced the call. It’s coming from INSIDE THE HORSE!”

-Trojan 911 dispatcher

@DominicStraw

Your password doesn’t remember you either. He moved on. He’s someone else’s password now.

@beefman138

Dear people filming disasters : You need to zoom out before running for your lives.
Nobody likes blurry footage, you selfish animals.

@amydillon

I’m having trouble being mad at my 8 y.o., whose teacher let me know that while he was supposed to be taking a standardized reading test he was on Google reviewing The Peanuts Movie.