@OakHill_

Merry Christmas to everyone except the guy who wrote the instructions on how to put this trampoline together.

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@Kolology

Be warned: there’s a proper legend on the streets of Brighton.

@lucky_300

Her: I’m just a vintage soul
Me: and a vintage face..

That’s how the fight started

@SortaBad

There’s something strangely unsettling about the petting zoo selling hamburgers.

@EllaZee5

What’s the problem, you said dress however I feel comfortable for meeting your parents and it turns out this SpongeBob SquarePants costume is very comfortable.

@SarahMJade

Remember kids, you only burn in hell if you are religious.

@trims_the_fat

None of this is appropriate for anybody. Take the 18+ out of your bio.

@just_carbs

If i had 5 pancakes and someone asked for 2, I’d still have 5 pancakes.

@hiitsmolly

“I could probz bench press, like, five of you”-me talking to a cool squirrel I just met