Hey “greatest generation” why is every thrift store filled with ceramic clowns
Met this chinese guy with the surname Shen. His name’s Eric. As in Eric Shen. Have him for more than 4hours, call a doctor!
You Might Also Like
Inkling sounds like a baby octopus
*wife is murdered
*looks at mirror
(Written in blood)
“My next what?
*from the closet
“Oh sorry typo I meant you’re.
Just by reading the Marilyn Monroe quote you’re already handling them at their worst
To see someone’s true savage nature, you must observe them eat crab legs at a buffet.
I wish I could literally LMAO..That sounds like a lot more fun than 90 minutes at the gym.
If you put a drier sheet in your car’s visor, your car will smell fresh for days
[Looks under visor]
Hey wait a minute this is a slice of ham
Mom taught us that “shut up” was the worst thing you could ever say to someone. But I had bigger dreams.
[goes back to Target just for the things I forgot]
cashier: that’ll be $337.48 and can you describe the children
i cant feel my face when im with you /
please untie me /
nose is itchy