@Prof_Hinkley: [Michael Cera being repeatedly asked by a librarian to speak up]
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@SlabBaconBP: Im the guy that says "Is he bothering you?" when some douche is hitting on you, just so I can hang around and bother you after he goes away.
@hythemafia: Scanned a customer in the eyes with a barcode reader for being rude to me.... ...should have seen the look on his face, it was priceless
@AbbieEvansXO: Salesgirl: [handing me makeup samples] here are the freebies we promised you! Me: [wearing my brand-new beekeeper’s suit] ...oh