@FSUSteve

Michelle Obama should have dropped the mic and moonwalked out.

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@markleggett

My hairdresser told me that his marriage is crumbling. So, here’s my business idea: A hair salon where they don’t tell me shit like that.

@Contwixt

Quick new parent question at what age do you let your new baby start sleeping indoors?

@skittle624

I want this Valentines Day to be special. Just give me a hint. Tell me what will make you happy. I’ll do anything.

*me, talking to my dogs

@Divergentmama

I can’t be certain, but pretty sure I just heard the dishwasher scream “please no more” when I walked in to the kitchen.

@BethsButt

I’m not your typical teenage girl. I’m 35 years old.

@meganamram

If video games have taught me anything, it’s that you’ll automatically get promoted if you kill your boss

@AcrimoniousClwn

Heard rumors that a coworker slept her way to a promotion. Damn, if the bosses only saw how much I sleep at my desk I’d own this place.

@AmandaRNH

I have 3 kids and often wonder what their future holds.

10: will be a teacher

5: a doctor

3: a dictator – just not sure which country she will take over yet. So many choices, but I’m thinking Canada because they are so polite and she is scary AF.