@SketchesbyBoze: millennials love books because we grew up watching Beauty and the Beast, in which a woman is willing to do anything to get her hands on a library—even marry a literal bull-moose-man.
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@iwearaonesie: *wakes up* *looks at clock* 8:00 *brushes teeth* *looks at clock again* 8:30 *gets to work* *looks at clock* 9:00 *comes out of a 2 hour meeting* *looks at clock again* 9:05
@KentWGraham: Why don’t the enemies of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles just flip them on their backs?
@Rollinintheseat: The most valuable lesson I learned from Hey Arnold is that it's okay to punch mouth breathers in the face.