Million Dollar Idea ~ A bathroom mirror that takes pictures.

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game of thrones is such a cool show. they should make a book out of it. [props a stick under a box to capture all the nerds that respond]


What do we want?
When do we want them?


Just so u know guys I literally covered my roommates bed in 324 pieces of cornbread 2 make it a “cornbed” so ur fakes puns mean nothing 2 me


Me: this horror movie is completely unrealistic.

Wife: shhh

Me: the main characters are so stupid look at them walking into an obvious trap.

Wife: shut up and watch

Me: bet she’s a witch and he was under a spell the whole ti-

Wife: ffs it’s our wedding video!


“I really should buckle down and get my rap album going”
-Me, every time I drink


I’ve always taught my children that no matter what race or religion, all good looking people deserve respect.


The masseuse asked if I wanted her to finish me, I said yes & then she ripped my spine out & said “Flawless Victory!”


I’ve accepted that I’ll never know how that M+ button on a calculator works.