@Darlainky: Mixed signals, like when my family members tell me I drink too much all year but on Christmas and my birthday give me cute wine glasses.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@kelkulus: I don't understand why people get embarrassed buying condoms. It's much more awkward trying to return them. "She didn't like me."
@pixelatedboat: *reading news story about how great some guy is* wow this guy sounds great *reading further* oh no, he’s a bomber and he’s dead
@DrakeGatsby: me: i feel like im being singled out because im the oldest person in this karate class and im winning all my matches them: this is a daycare and you are under arrest
@Tmoney68: [Leaving bar] GF: You okay to drive? Me: I'm fine. GF: You FEEL okay, but what would you blow? M: 2 guys, tops. GF: M: GF: M: What?