*cat rubs against genie lamp*
G: you get one wish
Cat:*makes eye contact & slowly pushes lamp off table*
G: guess who just wished for a dog
[mocking jay part 2]
jay: come on guys please stop
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*looks up at lightbulb
*looks back at phone
[my mom pretends to answer her phone] hello? oh hi Batman…i dunno if he’s eating his vegetables or not
me: [mouth full of broccoli] i am!
Try saying “good luck” without sounding sarcastic. Good luck.
Her: I just programmed all of my friends into my new cell phone.
Me: Wow, it holds three whole numbers?
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You are the toothpaste to my orange juice.
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