@chrissyteigen: Mom ?
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@HeidiCF8: Making everyone happy is impossible. But pissing them off is a piece of cake. I like cake.
@nPhelendriqal: A buddy gave me some of his pee in a jar so I could pass a drug screen. I failed, which is weird, cause I drank ALL of it.
@Schmoodles: I wish I was an American so that I had the right to bear arms. I'd probably go for panda bear arms because awwwww, so cute.