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- bilingual donkey
@Divergentmama: My kids have started removing one letter of bad words, so they can call each other names and not get in trouble.
So, I've decided to add one digit to the wifi password until they can be nice to each other.
Your move itches
@jlock17: I hate when all the silverware is dirty and I'm down to using the giant decorative fork that hangs on the wall.
@deeeebag: I'm lost at Costco but everyone here looks like my dad. Just gonna pick the one with the best groceries and start a new life I guess.
@ChaseMit: "We're not so different, you and I," Mitt Romney said to a stack of white printer paper.
@murrman5: [backstage at a concert] hey guys you mind signing this?
[next day at car dealership] rascal flatts is your cosigner?