“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” but so does the one from the living room to the kitchen for snacks and it’s a lot less tiring.
Moose: Sorry, I need to quit this yoga class.
Yoga Instructor: NahMooseStay!
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GOD: I told you to stop calling me that.
ME: Okay, but I can’t find my keys.
Heard covid makes everything taste like lacroix. I am now wearing seven masks
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SUPERMAN: Aquaman, go!
AQUAMAN: [stares at watch] Gotta wait 30 minutes
Yooooo you smart Brooooo
If Satan isn’t real then why am I in a group text with my family
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911: What is your emergency.
M: I need to report a home invasion. This woman looks like my mother in law but she’s smiling. Please hurry.
did you read dr seuss as a kid because green eggs and damn
Sometimes it’s hard to nap at work. Like, when the boss is standing beside you or when you don’t have a job.