I ran out of sterile gloves, so I’m just wearing boxing gloves when I go out.
Morning wood makes the best fire.
You Might Also Like
Sure, I miss grandma. But she’s up there protecting us.
*looks up to the sky where my grandma is in a jet fighting aliens*
If god can artificially inseminate someone, why did he need two of every animal on the ark to repopulate the world?
me: “know what i’d love for breakfast?”
mum: “what’s that son?”
me: “if someone pre-chewed my food”
“I forgot my phone, so what do u want to talk about?”
*knocks on stall wall* “Hello? Can u hear me?”
“I like your shoes…Hello?”
*peeks under bathroom stall*
How’s the wifi signal in there?
Finally thought of a retort to my bro’s friend who kicked me from his car in 1998
I don’t need your Camero anyway Ricky MY LIFE is a joyride
People in Arab nations are still wondering what all the western world hub bub about hump day and camel toe is about.
Your greatness is measured by the font-size of your obituary.
I would have loved to have been there when Mary and Joseph tried to explain to Jesus where babies come from.