Don’t people with bumper stickers realize it takes a t-shirt to change a person’s deeply held beliefs?
Most guys propose with a diamond but if you’re really smart give her an onion ring that way if she says no you still have a snack.
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Men that know the difference between moist and wet, know the difference between failure and success
I hope the next Rambo movie is called ‘Rambo No. 5’ and its just Stallone dancing through the jungle shooting a little bit of this and that.
BREAKING: First satellite photo of the “ultra-cool dwarf star”
Me: I must be out of my mind.
Me: You and me both.
<Tries to plow the road>
Road: I have a boyfriend.
*wears a clown mask hitchhiking*
Why’s nobody stopping, everyone loves clowns, right?
Me – Actually goes for a walk
FitBit – You OK?
Although no words have been spoken per se, I’m pretty sure the dude in the next stall just challenged me to a beat-boxing contest.
They are only bad decisions if you get caught