@carlyken

Most guys propose with a diamond but if you’re really smart give her an onion ring that way if she says no you still have a snack.

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@josh___grant

Don’t people with bumper stickers realize it takes a t-shirt to change a person’s deeply held beliefs?

@ella__fraser

Men that know the difference between moist and wet, know the difference between failure and success

@koalaslament

I hope the next Rambo movie is called ‘Rambo No. 5’ and its just Stallone dancing through the jungle shooting a little bit of this and that.

@Gupton68

*wears a clown mask hitchhiking*

Why’s nobody stopping, everyone loves clowns, right?

@dshack8

Although no words have been spoken per se, I’m pretty sure the dude in the next stall just challenged me to a beat-boxing contest.