@mommy_cusses: Motherhood is when your child looks like a sparkling cherub and you look like a steaming pile of nope.
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@SteveSuckington: Fun prank: 1. Steal your married friends phone 2. Change your name to 'Brandi from the club' 3. Call repeatedly at 3AM and hang up
@BalakrishnanR: Made my day.. I have this digital scale in my bathroom. Everyday the first thing I do is weigh myself and it shows 68 Kgs. However, if I weigh myself after I wear my specs i see 88 kgs.. hence the specs weigh 20 kgs
@justsomegirl81: Him: Do you always moan this loud when you do that? Me popping another Reese’s cup in my mouth: Yes, why?