Parenting is cool…
I’ll tell you why when I’m done arguing with this younger version of me.
Mum: Oh I’ve always wanted to try one of these , *leans in* Alexa, what’s your name?
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I feel like maybe if God didn’t spend all his time helping people win at sports and awards shows he’d have time to fix some shit
Netflix should have a category called
“easy to follow while looking at my
phone the whole time”
Have you tried complaining about it for hours?
daddy how does Santa go to everyone’s house by morning?
“I dunno, time travel”
time travel isn’t real
“neither is Santa, go to bed”
God: *closes a door*
Kids: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED
Judas: You guys coming to the last supper?
Everyone Else: Why’d you call it that?
A lot of parents are asking questions about my baby cannon. Like “Does it really fire babies?” & “Have you seen my son Jeff?”
i saw this and everything about it annoyed me so i’m posting it in hopes that it annoys you too
If you play any Radiohead song backwards it gives you the directions to a hip little sushi place in New York.