Many English names are derived from occupations, like Fletcher (arrow maker), Cooper (barrel maker), or Cunningham (tricky pig).
My 13 year old daughter just lit a cigarette at the kitchen table. I’ve never been more furious! And in front of her kids too!
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[on Ferris wheel]
ME: This is going great.
MY DATE: This is so weird.
UBER DRIVER: Let’s get cotton candy next.
FRIEND: Women want guys who take charge
WAITER: [to date] Ready to-
ME: [shoves waiter and grabs notepad] Ready to order?
Joined a street protest.
Suddenly a shot, panic and everybody started running.
3 hours and a gold medal later I realised it was a marathon
I had to share this!!!
When I ask, “Is it genetic?” What I’m really asking is, “Can I blame my ancestors?”
For sale: $300 King size mattress & box spring, 6 mo old, Never had sex on it, not even once. IDK ask her.
Them: What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to say to someone?
Me: Probably… Saskatchewan
Me: or Worcestershire
yeah not falling for this one