There are two kinds of people.
Try not to be either one of them.
My 6 yr old lost a tooth and then finger quoted “tooth fairy” so I just handed him $5 and told him to do whatever he wanted with the tooth
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I know my car needs a wash and valet, but with 3 kids still at home I figure I may as well wait until the youngest moves out. She’s 7.
When I was sixteen, I had to learn how to drive a stick, because we couldn’t afford a car.
[at the altar]
*leans in for a kiss*
Priest: the bride, sir
If a recipe does not call for cheese, I’m gonna assume they forgot it and add an entire large bag. Well 3/4 of bag cause I ate some of it.
So apparently ‘Sexual Prime’ isn’t one of the Autobots.
I know this now.
* flirting with disaster
Someday archeologists are going to dig up Disney World and think that it was some type of bizarre mouse worshipping kingdom.
Henry VIII: jeez walmart is out of cards, flowers and chocolate. She’s going to kill me! Unless…