@LuvPug: My boss called in sick of me
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@PaperWash: date: and then after traveling to Iceland I decided to get my MBA me: date: me: I went to Arby's 7 times yesterday
@Nikkeya08: Mom 1: My son loves gluten free chips. Mom 2: Asher eats everything organic. Me: My son had a chocolate donut and a booger for breakfast.
@OctopusCaveman: My dad left to get a pack of cigarettes 30 years ago and still hasn’t come back. That’s why I never started smoking. I just don’t have the time.
@sixfootcandy: Doctor: Can you stick to a clear liquid diet for a few days? Me: Sure! Vodka is a clear liquid.