@WilliamAder: My cat didn't get me a Father's Day card and things are a little tense around here right now.
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@LostFelicia: Sorry I looked up your house on google maps, but I wanted to make sure I could climb that tree by your bedroom window.
@ArfMeasures: THERAPIST: What do you wish for? WIFE: That we become closer again & [smiles at me] focus on the important things ME: For the dog to talk
@Rollinintheseat: It's like nobody at this restaurant appreciates my dramatic reading of the menu.