@WilliamAder: My cat didn't get me a Father's Day card and things are a little tense around here right now.
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@LindzThoughts: If maxi pad commercials didn't exist, us women would have no idea that we're full of blue windshield wiper fluid.
@FunnyIsFamily: Kindergarten, day two. Me: Who did you play with at recess? Daughter: One of my best friends. I don't remember her name.
@jonnysun: job interview tip: show up wearig the exact same thing as ur interveiwer, whispre "dress for the job u want, right?" then just stare at them