Lol at birds that walk places.
My daughter is refusing to eat anything but nachos. And I’m a good mom and will give her what she wants:
Nacho ride to your friend’s house
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*slowly backs away from you
*down the stairs
*out the door
*along the street
*through the airport
*onto to a plane
*into another country
Mobile tweeting with 3% battery is a lot like the band playing while the titanic sank
I’m not even opening the door for kids dressed as police for Halloween
british people be having sex like:
mmmm yes splendid ah indeed scrumptious carry on good heavens i’m arriving
Toy stores should spread the toys out on the floor so you can see them in their natural state and practice stepping on them.
So, I bought the Cucumber Mint lip balm from Burt’s Bees. I kinda love it and hate it too. What? Oh, yeah I want to report a murder.
Clarissa didn’t explain this at all
A real ice cream truck would have melted by now.
Accidentally bought something by clicking “OK” 6 times then “place order”