@prufrockluvsong
What if your beverage could lightly choke you? Try boba! Yes, boba. Combining refreshment and near death experience since 1980.
@Divergentmama
My daughter is refusing to eat anything but nachos. And I’m a good mom and will give her what she wants:
Nacho phone
Nacho allowance
Nacho ride to your friend’s house
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@prufrockluvsong
@PhilosophyMttrs
Though this is probably not what Nietzsche had in mind, you cannot unsee this
@Mr_Kapowski
[kid’s party]
Me: Can we leave? These things take forever
Wife: *harsh whisper* Shut your mouth. Watch our daughter open her presents
@SooInnocentDad
My son and his friends are great … They always spray the house with air freshener before I get home
@SarcasticSadOne
If I text you and you immediately call me, that’s entrapment.
@kumailn
“Give your email a good password. Letters, symbols, numbers.”
“What about my atm card which holds all my money?”
“Any 4 numbers in a row.”
@simoncholland
The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.
@ruinedpicnic
[please enter a password]
ilovedogs
[password must contain at least one capital]
iloveparisdogs
@TheMichaelRock
My 8yo is watching a video of a guy watching a video of another guy flipping water bottles. Please pray for me during this difficult time.
@MavenofHonor
Like a kite stuck in a tree, I too am stuck in a tree