@mommajessiec: My dishes are lined up like my sink is the hottest night club the world has ever seen.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@dshack8: Usain Bolt doesn't know shit bout speed compared to a parent putting their hand over their kids mouth when they see someone w/ an eye patch.
@4handfuls: Her: What are your passions? Him: Meditating and gourmet food & drinks. Narrator: Which was code for sleeping, Cheez-its, and Capri Suns.
@NicCageMatch: No, please, let me give up my subway seat to your 6-year-old child who must be bone-tired from a life consisting mostly of playing & napping