I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium are going out. I was like OMg.
My dog: WHY ARE YOU ALL STILL HOME
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That was the most exciting race between two stationary vehicles I have ever seen. #GreaseLive
making internet enemies is a lot easier than making internet friends but i guess it does keep the curse protection talisman industry alive.
SAURON: I shall create three rings for the elves, seven for the dwarf lords and nine for mortal men
HOBBITS: wow ok none for us cool
SAURON: and thus I shall have dominion over all the civilised races of middle earth
ME: I think I like this huge decorative rock
ME: Ok [with confidence] I REALLY LOVE THIS HUGE DECORATIVE ROCK
Me: I guess it all started when I was younger-
Her: Sir, unless there’s a problem with the gas pump, don’t push the button to talk to me
Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame that they’ll never meet…
Day 18 of lock down. Filled the dog with helium.
99% of all online behavior is explained by the fact that everyone is insanely lonely and horny. the remaining 1% is advertising
Planet of the Apes is starting to look downright optimistic.