@lmegordon: My eyes are up here, buddy. Stop looking at my spaghetti sauce stain.
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@_NTFG_: DOCTOR: Are you sexually active? ME: Depends on what you mean by active. There are plenty of active volcanos that haven't gone off in years
@mrtruthandsoul: I just lifted a couch to retrieve a Skittle that fell underneath it, so I get you Moms that lift cars to rescue children, I get you.
@internetluke: "STOP IT STOP IT. CUT. THIS IS ALL WRONG" I scream at my cats dressed like vampires. "This is NOTHING like Twilight!!"
@knot_eye: Her: I bet you forgot it. Him: I have a photographic memory. [shakes violently] Her: ? Him: Sorry, it's a Polaroid. Is it Becky? Her: NO