@ficklenuts: My family has a proud tradition of hunting down the worst possible person we can find, and then marrying them.
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@SocialustGal13: There are 2 kinds of people: 1) Happy morning people 2) Cranky morning people that fantasize about killing the happy morning people
@IamEnidColeslaw: okay Mary that guy just smiled at you play it cool oh my god he's coming over here play it cool play it cool HI THERE I'M WEARING TWO BRAS
@ceejoyner: 75% of a Scandinavian park ranger's job is rescuing black metal bands that get lost in the woods shooting album covers.
@Breadery: I scream. You scream. We all scream. This fancy wine bars toilet gender signs were unclear.