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@TheSweetestD_: My family is missing that gene that tells you when trash cans are full.
@weinerdog4life: Probably the slowest way to die is sloth with a knife.
@seamussaid: only baby boomers will get this:
@clindsaysway: FB is the Flanders of social media, Twitter is Moe.
@ddsmidt: The CDC is warning customers to stay away from any form of romaine lettuce.
Deep inside, I always knew that stuff was trouble.
@SeanEmeny: They say "confidence" is the most attractive quality in a partner. But I'd have to say "not banging my friends" would be a very close 2nd