@Daisyldoo
Everything about parenting is as unexpected and surprising as finding a dirty fork in the shower.
But, please, why is there a fork in the shower?
@RunOldMan
My father one time told me to go apologize to the neighbor for being mouthy so I went and told her my father says he’s sorry.
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@Daisyldoo
@carbsley
[ from bed ]
*accio coffee*
damnit it didn’t work again
@1followernodad
this is supposed to be an 18 year old
@PS_IRuddYou
Tried to text “playa” but it changed it to “player”
I must have the white iPhone.
@pantless_papple
8 just said we should get her mom “something to do with napping” for christmas “because she likes napping” and I’m not sure I’ll be able to protect her through this
@RUAg4mer
I don’t always whoop.
But when i do.. there it is
@markydoodoo
The Macarena was just a tutorial on how to fold a sweater.
@Quartzjixler
I smoke in the car and the smell is in my clothes, skin, and hair but this gum will cover everything up so no one will know.
– smokers
@Elizasoul80
*exercises sarcastically*
@RocketRankoon
Desire to not get beat up > Desire to wear a cloak