@howe007: Doctor: tell me everything you told the nurse 5 minutes ago.

@eliserose5: 8 out of 6 people think I'm terrible at math.

@pauleggleston: A poet once gave a pigeon helium, and invented high coo.

@TheBoydP: The ruling that legal papers can now be "served" on Facebook is ridiculous. Don't they know the people they're looking for are on twitter?

@cat_fvr: *sees people doing the mannequin challenge, brings back ice bucket challenge and dumps it on mannequin people*