“NO NO NO NO” – the guy who invented folding chairs watching a wrestling match
My favorite part of the bible is when god gives people free will and then kills everyone with a flood for not acting the way he wanted .
You Might Also Like
They said if gay marriage became legal, people would start marrying dogs and cats, but I guess that was just another bs political promise.
“I feel your pane”- Guy walking into your window.
“get your shit together” is my favorite weird expression of something no one would ever do, but everyone totally agrees is great advice.
*bumpes into my ex on the street
*dials a number
Hello, Satan? Dude I thought we had an agreement?!
Just think, Someone comes to you, opens buttons of your shirt, stares at you from top to bottom and then leaves.
That’s how fridges feel.
*throws a grenade at Bruno Mars’ girlfriend*
*Bruno Mars appears out of nowhere and catches it*
*it explodes and both of them die*
me: i just quit cold turkey
turkey: *outside in the snow banging on window* please baby i can change
Having kids has taught me that their ears are for decorative purposes only.
What if Bing is just a guy in his office Googling stuff for you and doing his best