We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters
@DurtMcHurtt: My first base coach won't let me practice kissing, I hate baseball.
@donni: Sleep is basically free drugs, so people who think you need less sleep are narcs
@juliussharpe: You know it's not believable when six people rob a bank in a movie if you've ever tried to organize a dinner for six people.
@LukeErd: You love him. Your parents approve him. He buys you flowers and chocolate. He wrote you a poem that rhymes "wood" with "food."
@mxrk: Nice try, poison.
@Tmoney68: Spice up Christmas shopping by entering random fitting rooms, waiting 5 minutes, then yelling, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"