@joshgondelman: My girlfriend and I are thinking about adopting a dog because we've had no luck trying to have one naturally.
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@Book_Krazy: Me: Both of our hamsters died and we just can't part with them Taxidermist: Would you like them mounted? Me: Um no, just holding hands
@rev_revolver: once a woman in the mall said "isn't everything cuter with babies?!" and jeff replied "not coffins" and just stared at her until she cried
@rickolantern: Just finished the first chapter of this novel. Tons of characters with the same name and really hard to follow. Sir, that's a phone book.
@ashmensch: That's me, I'm the coroner, That's me with the sharp knife, Removing all your organs.