@Dallani: My high school girlfriend got "uses her kids as her facebook profile picture" fat.
@UnimpressedWU: In lieu of exercise, accidentally send your text to the wrong person to get your heart rate up
@TheTweetOfGod: Being wrong is most effective when done loudly.
@causticbob: what's the medical term for a female-to-male gender reassignment surgery? an addadictomy
@DrunksWithGuns: *seductively mows lawn to Careless Whisper*
@AlanFelyk: Personal Trainer: Show me the hardest thing that you do each day.
Me: *Goes out front door of gym, comes back in*