My husband declared Sunday as a technology free day, so naturally this has led to a closer bond between my children and me as we sneak off to look at my phone.

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Inside Out 2:

The girl enters puberty.

Her emotions get out of control.

She goes Goth.

Sadness murders the other emotions in their sleep


Lawyer: As My Lord knows,…
Judge: Don’t presume I know it, counsel.
Lawyer: Beg pardon. *clears throat* As My Lord ought to know…


Not sure if you’ll like golf? Walk on a treadmill for four hours under a sun lamp then throw away $75 when you’re done.


*points to person jogging outside through the snow*

“Look kids, a lunatic”


You better take care of me Lord, if you don’t you’re gonna have me on your hands.


“I’m an actress”

I watched your web series, and I disagree.


*Cleans house*

*looks at family*

“I’m going to have to ask you to leave”


Acupuncture for weight loss huh? I’ve had little pricks before, and they never helped me work off any pounds.


Every time Nicki Minaj tells someone their voice isn’t good enough on Idols, someone is crushed to death by the weight of the irony.