My husband wants to make cauliflower crust pizza so now I have to run to the grocery store and find a new husband.

You Might Also Like


TV is so unrealistic. Friends drop by unannounced and people are happy to see them


[Job Interview]

Boss: What is your best trait?

Me: Procrastination.

B: How is that a positive?

M: I’ll give you my reasons. Later.


Quarantine prank. Be careful what you wish for…😂🤣😭💀💀


A new study found the safest city to travel to is Tokyo, Japan. Unless, of course, you’re a dolphin.


I’ve never once used the “C word” in a tweet but I will now!!!!


There, happy now? You c**ts.


a good way to greet new neighbors is by practicing your pitchfork-throwing in the front yard & impressing them w/ your deadly accuracy


I want to lose weight, but I don’t want to get caught up in one of those ‘eat right and exercise’ fads.


This is what we really need to remember from the gold and white or blue and black dress debate.