TV is so unrealistic. Friends drop by unannounced and people are happy to see them
My husband wants to make cauliflower crust pizza so now I have to run to the grocery store and find a new husband.
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Boss: What is your best trait?
B: How is that a positive?
M: I’ll give you my reasons. Later.
I’m all “class”.
The first two letters really aren’t necessary.
Quarantine prank. Be careful what you wish for…😂🤣😭💀💀
A new study found the safest city to travel to is Tokyo, Japan. Unless, of course, you’re a dolphin.
I’ve never once used the “C word” in a tweet but I will now!!!!
There, happy now? You c**ts.
a good way to greet new neighbors is by practicing your pitchfork-throwing in the front yard & impressing them w/ your deadly accuracy
I want to lose weight, but I don’t want to get caught up in one of those ‘eat right and exercise’ fads.
Why do baby clothes have pockets. What do babies have to carry?
This is what we really need to remember from the gold and white or blue and black dress debate.