@LizHackett: My husband's on a work Skype, so every few minutes I silently cross the room behind him dressed as a new character from Wicked.
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@Brampersandon_: INTERVIEWER: this says u work well with otters. Did u mean others? ME (shoving a romp of otters back into my briefcase): haha yeah of course
@ComedyAndTruth: Hello it's 911, what's your emergency?" "Two boys are fighting over me" What is the problem with it? "The ugly one is winning."
@tyleroakley: imagine boycotting beauty & the beast because of a gay character while being totally cool with a teenage girl falling in love with a buffalo