@LizHackett: My husband's on a work Skype, so every few minutes I silently cross the room behind him dressed as a new character from Wicked.
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@BillMc7: Geese and swans mate for life. And that explains why it's very common for geese and swans to fly into jet engines.
@Cali_Kid_Mike: Nice try government. But I'm not taking you back until I know where you've been for the last two weeks.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Can I have some of your candy? 3-year-old: Can I have some of your beer? Me: 3: Me: 3: Me: Deal. Wife: NO!