@seegreenfairys: I told my husband not to get me anything for Valentine's Day, now we wait...

@ObscureGent: Waiting for Bernie Sanders to come out from under the ring and hitting someone with a steel chair to claim the presidential belt.

@brendohare: Well I'm not really sure why you put "Baby: Ages 0-6" on your resume, but more importantly, why were you a baby for so long

@aveuaskew: People fear what they don't understand: Change Death 4th grade math word problems

@Sarcasmo718: I'm trying, but all the Liam Neeson jokes are taken.