Canadians: Maybe they’re born with it, maybe it’s maple leaf.
My neighbor thinks that the coyotes are back. When should I tell her that it was just 11 running around the backyard howling at the moon for no reason?
You Might Also Like
Film producer: You’re a terrible scriptwriter.
I disagree. Me:
I hope Hell freezes over soon. A few women have promised me dates when it happens.
“Beat up anybody you see drinking 7UP”
-first rule of Sprite Club
Oops, I “accidentally” left my in-laws at the grocery store. Darn. I guess I’ll just have to get them Monday on the way back to the airport.
Let’s just say she wasn’t impressed when I picked her up in my go-kart.
Menacing voice: ‘Have you checked the children?’
Me: ‘Could you do it?’
I just brushed my hair while wearing a fuzzy sweater and now I can make a streetlight come on by touching it.
king arthur: has anyone seen the guy who cuts open everyone’s boils
sir lancelot: I’m here your majesty
Sarah Palin being on a climate change panel with Bill Nye is like Sarah Palin being on a climate change panel with Bill Nye.